Before You Go
Life can often feel miserable. Sometimes it’s easy to succumb to the interminable gloom, languishing over how pointless your existence feels. Yet the malaise does not last forever. Maybe you discover a new song that brings you a small burst of pleasure. Maybe you connect with an old friend and are reminded of how dear their friendship is to you. Maybe you discover a new hobby and you turn out to be unexpectedly talented at it. Maybe you save up enough to buy your dream home. Maybe you learn a new language and maybe you’re not very good at it but that’s okay, because you still enjoyed the process. And in those moments, you feel a sense of peace, a sense of contentment. You find yourself distracted from the constant melancholy that plagues you. You don’t despair over your existence quite as regularly because those brief, blissful periods take precedence.
But then all of a sudden, the burden of despondency re-emerges, sinking its claws into your soul, leaving you once again despairing over the utter fickleness of life. In that moment you forget all about those little, precious minutes of stolen happiness that you experienced and you are sucked into the empty void of depression. Back in that pit with no escape and pondering once more if you should end it all. It’s an unfortunate thing to accept but that’s just life. If you’re lucky, you may get the chance to revel in your joy for many, many years before it’s inevitably taken away from you. If you’re not so lucky, those periods of bliss might not last as long.
Yet, it is those rare, cherished moments that we live for. Those delightful periods of gentle euphoria when we see our friends, when we have long, soulful talks, when we learn to play a new instrument or make pizza, when we go dancing or sing to ourselves because in those moments our hearts feel so full that we can’t contain our joy. Those nights we fall in love or witness a breathtaking sunset or help a stranger in need or take a walk by a river with just the moon and the beauty of the stars as our companion. Those days you spend with your families, bickering over dumb things, enjoying a meal together, annoying your siblings and all you can think about is how glad you are to be able to share this with them.
We are not the sum of our misery, we are the sum of our memories, our emotions, our relationships. It’s natural to lose sight of that when our desolation is upon us, but it’s important to remember that you’re not going to be here forever. You only have this short window of time in this world so take advantage of that and feel good while you can. There might be days when it feels like the world will collapse around us, when the dark clouds press down upon you and your sadness suffocates you. Remind yourself that you will resurface, that this storm won’t last.
Don’t give up on yourself when there’s so much to live for. Trying to find meaning in your suffering is a futile task. You weren’t placed on this earth to change it, you were simply meant to be here in this time and in this place. What you choose to do with that is up to you but before you decide that you don’t belong here, think about those special, happy moments, hold them close and remember that there is so much to exist for.